and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Boobs are out for the taking
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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