"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
one might say we're banned from that church
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
