I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
