Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
