i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
