If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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