just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
