Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
