Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
