Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
