I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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