Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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