no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
