did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
