I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
