Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
