I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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