I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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