part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
wow bdsm is so cute
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
