Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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