The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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