I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize