He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
