just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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