# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this beer tastes like vomit already
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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