it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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