Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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