Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
