i can't believe i had my finger in that
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
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I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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