Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
