you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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