What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
