forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
