I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think i have two assholes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
