i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
