How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
