So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize