I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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