ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
