Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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