its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
