I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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