Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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