So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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