I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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