Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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