There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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