well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
