the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
