Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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