Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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