i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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