Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
