i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize