I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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