i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
