I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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