1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
